“I’m so angry, I could kill him!” Every one of us has uttered these words at some point or the other, but of course we don’t make good on our threats. Anger is a perfectly normal human response and even though we wish we could keep a handle on our anger, we still blow up every now and then! It can be alarming to feel like your anger is beyond your control, but that does not necessarily mean that you have an anger problem.
Signs You Have Anger Issues
Anger that is an instinctive physiological reaction to a provocation, hurt, or threat is considered to be healthy anger – this is the type of anger you feel when you see someone bullying or ill-treating another person or animal. On the other hand, if you experience rage, which is a sense of intense or violent anger, you may have an anger issue and need to sort it out quickly – for the sake of those around you, as well as yourself.
You Play The Blame Game
“There is a direct link between the allocation of blame & anger”
When things go wrong, is your first reaction to blame other people and circumstances for the situation you are in? Psychologists say that if you are someone who refuses to take ownership of your actions and situations, it is more likely that you have an anger issue. Studies show that there is a straightforward link between the allocation of blame and anger.
You’re Passive Aggressive
“Passive aggressive anger generally manifests as apathy, sarcasm, & cynicism”
It’s easy to realize that someone is angry when they are screaming and yelling their head off, but passive aggressive anger often goes unnoticed. Passive aggressive anger generally manifests as apathy, sarcasm, and cynicism. If you resort to hurtful humor and snide remarks, you might want to consider that you have an anger problem. People with passive aggressive problems are also more likely to alienate friends and family, perform poorly in their professional lives, and frequently procrastinate.
You Get Angry Very Easily
“People who are prone to anger are at a much higher risk of suffering from chronic anger problems”
You go to make yourself a sandwich and there’s no bread left, your bus is late, the outfit you wanted to buy is no longer in the store – just about anything can make you mad! If you find that you are angry all the time, you need help pronto! When anger becomes a part of your personality, it can lead to physiological problems, as well as chronic anger problems that are much tougher to treat.
Your Anger Is Disproportionate
“Disproportionate anger is often transferred aggression and it is a clear sign of uncontrolled anger”
If you find yourself screaming at the waiter for bringing you the wrong dish, you definitely have an anger issue! Now don’t get us wrong, you have every right to be irritated or even a little angry but your reaction should be proportionate to the situation. Very often, disproportionate anger is simply transferred aggression – where you are unable to express your anger to the person who has caused it and so you lash out at someone else instead. Road rage is one of the most common examples of this type of anger.
Controlling Your Anger Before It Controls You
“Recognizing your anger problem is the first step in addressing it, but you then need to channel your anger in a healthy & non-threatening manner”
The first step towards resolving your anger issues is to accept that you have a problem and that you can resolve it. Instead of blaming people or circumstances for your anger, figure out what triggers your anger and plan on ways to manage it. Figure out solutions to problems that trigger your anger – people often get “hangry” – anger that is triggered by hunger; a simple solution would be to follow regular meal timings; incidentally, this is also a great way to control your weight. Communication is also very important so that you don’t suppress your anger, but instead learn how to express it in a healthy and productive manner.
Anger issues have a way of creeping up on us and we don’t notice the problem until it is too late. If you realize that you have an anger issue, start working on it right away. Stress is also a key factor as it can trigger anger, so try out a few simple ways to de-stress and stick with the ones that work for you. This simple anger management tip will go a long way in helping you overcome your anger issues to lead a happier, low-stress life.
July 31, 2018